What if i wasn’t really meant to be the one you expected? Would you be disappointed if I fail? Will you consider it as disgrace? Am I the one to be blamed if I fall? Shall I push through beyond my limts?
I don’t give a damn about glory — I can’t eat it anyway; nor I care about failure — I still can get up everytime. What scares me is for you to be disgraced. I’m afraid to think that my efforts weren’t enough to pay back what you’ve given me. Oftentimes I run out of strength. Hope departs me like an unfaithful friend. I try my best to find courage, but all I feel is despair.
It irritates me everytime people say that I can. They just don’t know how much pain it causes me. Disappointment only comes to those who expect: as for me, I don’t expect anything, though my dreams would contradict that.
When will I be relieved from this scourging? For every single day that pass seems to add my misery. the longer I stay this way, the more embittered I become. This loneliness corrupts my very soul like a cancer, and soon it’ll devour this fragile container.
Shall I tell you my fears? I don’t want to. I know all the sacrifices you endure just to keep me here. I don’t even know what I should do next
Students, the “toxic warrior”
Examination days just started in the university. Well, students around were busy reviewing thin repeatedly all over. As I seated at the corridor outside our room waiting for my turn, I observe MANY facial expressions among my co-students while reviewing. Some of them look like worried, stressed, tired, sleepy, bored. In addition, some students are just talking to their classmates as if it is not examination days. There are some look like a happy go lucky as if I will going to dissect their heads I will find the word “come what may” inside their brains. There are also some who truly dedicate their self in revieving, maybe this are students who aims a high ratings. I just laughed and whispered “we are toxic warrior men” hehe! Laugh loud! Toxic warriors because we fight toxic schedules, toxic exams, situations and professor! Agree?? I consider myself the one who review to get high grades but mind you, the more I review, the more I confuse!
For all of us, Good Luck toxic warriors!
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